We are always having conversations, most of the time, with ourselves.
Although we have a deep need to speak and be heard, there are few who can really listen and actually hear. Even fewer know how to speak their truth in a way that is uplifting and healing.
All of us want to be free of difficulties both in our lives and relationships. Yet, somehow we go on repeating the same conversations and same old patterns time and again. This is because we drag the past with us and are not able to experience a new truth in this precious moment.
There is only one way. For things to be new, we have to be new. We have to look through new eyes, hear through new ears, open our heart to new possibilities. When we think the same thoughts, believe the same lies, grasp onto old dreams and old memories, we are keeping ourselves from truly experiencing all that is possible and waiting for us. Life is always new, each moment and each person comes in its own way, bringing something fresh, if we allow it to.
The first step in discovering how to have new conversations is learning how to be open and available to what is happening right now.
Once we decide to do that, life itself helps in hundreds of ways. It helps us to see that nothing is ever the same, no breath is exactly like the one before, no one ever walks the same step again. No person is truly the same today as he was yesterday.
When we hold onto old grievances and expectations, we are not able to receive the many gifts that a person may be bringing us today. Yet, rather than let go, many of us hold on and cling to what was. This keeps both ourselves and others stuck in a fixed position, and keeps everyone in pain. We keep dwelling on misunderstandings and difficulties, rather than step onto new ground and experience the healing and connection that is waiting for us right now. When we are willing to let things be new, the solutions to our problems arise naturally. New responses and insights come on their own.
It is actually simple and natural to let life be new. Here is one short exercise for you. Simply stop a moment. Really stop. Breathe through your own nostrils, feel the air on your face, your feet on the ground. Pay no attention to the whirl of thoughts which repeat themselves endlessly. Let them arise and let them go, like a flock of stray birds, off to a far destination. Stay completely planted in the reality of this moment and the next moment will take care of itself.
Having a true conversation is a practice. Learning how to plant yourself in the present moment is the first and crucial step to it. As you start to practice you learn many ways in which the conversation takes place. The more you do this practice, the deeper it goes, and the more you are able to create a strong foundation for living a life based on well-being, joy and wonderful surprises.
Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D. is a contributing blogger for JenningsWire, a blogging community created by Annie Jennings.
