Why do we try to change others’ realities for our own comfort?
If they become what we wish will we really be happy? What if everything that happens is pointing us toward our fullness? What if rejection, unexpected reactions, or changes of trusted plans are designed to send us into deeper union with ourselves?
How we can open to the Divine Map of complete fullness, prosperity, love, and wellness instead of aiming to alter others? What if life has a huge bounty of good surprises in store for us? Might we miss these if we are focused on rearranging others’ ways of participating with us?
One of the deepest lessons in trusting life came to me from Sheila, a dear friend who suffered from addictions. Sheila was loyal, kind, thoughtful, and caring, However, her attachment to her addictions took her in spirals of broken promises and lies. This was deeply upsetting to me. Time and time again I aimed to educate, heal, and help. Time and time again I felt drained to the core and misused. But I was choosing to keep trying so it was me that was misusing myself! One day, it dawned on me that Sheila’s mixture of care, kindness, and loved mixed up with betraying ways was in my life to liberate me. I realized I was not meant to be her teacher, healer, or helper in the ways I had assumed. I felt freed.
As I let go, waves of love and joy poured through my body and soul!
I released far more than my way of relating to Sheila. As I emptied myself into neutral vast clearness in following days, new closeness with a variety of people came in. I saw Sheila and others in new ways. The peace I had sought by changing Sheila came by releasing Sheila to be on her own learning curve.
Sometimes, when a person is convinced that others are responsible for their happiness, those others fall into guilt. Others have an illusion that they are responsible. But please know, if you feel guilty for another’s need for you to be someone other than you are, you will do yourself and them good by letting that go. Resentment and controlling attitudes sent your way are like festering flews. Let them be cleansed. Your guilt is also a festering virus. Sneeze it out of you! Let it fly away into the clouds to be transformed. It is okay to feel so much innate love within that everyone can be who they are. Try it out to see if it is really your deepest truth. Love is actually free to you and free of whatever is happening or not happening.
I had the chance to try today. I was counting on a retreat time with two close friends who are colleagues. When the retreat time had to be postponed for several months I felt sad. I recognized that the universe was redirecting me into a deeper flow. I had been attaching the delving into this flow to the reunion with colleagues. Now I was beckoned into a deeper reunion with myself. I married me. As I let myself tumble through the emotional waves of disappointment and sadness, I fell into a vastly expanding neutral. Hawks were flying high above me all day. I felt open and clear in a much cleaner way from heart to sky! Nourished by myself I felt the depth of love among all situations. Nourished, warm.
Read more posts by Laurie Moore, LMFT, CHT, PhD here. Dr. Moore blogs for JenningsWire.
The online feature magazine, JenningsWire.com, is created by National PR Firm, Annie Jennings PR that specializes in providing book promotion services to self-published and traditionally published authors. Annie Jennings PR books authors, speakers and experts on major high impact radio talk interview shows, on local, regionally syndicated and national TV shows and on influential online media outlets and in prestigious print magazines and newspapers across the country.
