Have you been unintentionally single for more than a year and desire to be in a meaningful relationship? Unintentionally single meaning that you want to be in a relationship, feel that you make efforts to meet quality people but have had no luck in finding a compatible mate.
If you are a missionary or live in a convent this does not apply to you. If you frequent environments where you are able to meet new people and can’t seem to get a date OR have been unhappy with the dates that you have been on (over an extended period of time) then you’re stuck on single!
If you can identify with these feelings of relational stagnation, then let’s look at some potential solutions for getting you unstuck and moving a step closer to meeting love.
Reasons you could be stuck
1. Physically unavailable: if your schedule consists of work, work, work and home, home, home and you are not very actively engaged in Internet dating then you need to mingle more. Go out and meet people! You may be accustomed to being alone and not really ready to let someone in yet. You don’t allow chance to happen. Try a new church, museum, restaurant, or do some traveling. Change up your environment and you never know who you may run into.
2. Mentally unavailable: these are the ladies who actually get out, meet people, go on dates but may be too “mentally busy” to be fully present during the encounters. This means you are physically present but your mind may be completely somewhere else; work, home, or planning your wedding with your guy on the first date! You will never really get to know someone this way and your date will know immediately that you are not fully connecting.
3. Emotionally unavailable: this is when you date but you’re heart may not have healed from past dramas and you generally attract the wrong types of guys or push the right types of guys away. This may be caused by the fear of being hurt, abandoned, or general unaddressed traumas from our childhoods that affect how we relate to men. In all cases, unaddressed negative emotions generally lead to emotional stagnation i.e. dysfunctional relationships. You must learn to identify, give, or receive love effectively or you won’t.
4. Low self esteem: if you do not value yourself then don’t expect others to. If you are not comfortable as a single person you won’t be happy in a relationship. You must be completely happy with yourself just the way you are whether you are in a relationship or not. Spend some time getting to know yourself and liking you; improve any areas that you may feel deficient in prior to dating someone. Feel beautiful, be confident, and know the value that you bring to potential relationship.
5. Not expecting to meet the right person: Basically this means that you have lost hope in the possibility that you will acquire the type of relationship that you desire. As a result, you really do not expect it not to happen for you. Guess what, then it probably will not. Believe and you will receive…don’t believe and you won’t receive.