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Learning To Dance In The Rain!


Life’s not about waiting for the storm to pass, It’s about learning to dance in the rain.   ~ Vivian Greene

Have you ever heard yourself, or someone else ask, When can I see results?

The truth is, we see results all the time, and all results are primarily an outcome of our expectations. Wayne Dyer wrote a book years ago called, You’ll See it When You Believe It. And this is exactly how life works, no matter what you tell yourself you want, it is what you believe you are going to get that will determine what shows up in your life.

When many of us think about life’s storms, set-backs, difficulties, lulls, trips and falls – we naturally assume that these events are all bad – at least at the time they are happening.  And why not, that fits with everything most of us have learned – that there are good things and bad things and the difference is always clear to us. If we lose something then, that is clearly bad (except when it turns out that letting go was actually a good thing for us, which we usually don’t find out until much later).

The most important thing to know is that you will always experience the outcomes that you expect

So when your thoughts are focused on what has gone wrong, then you will increase the probability that there will be more of whatever is already in your life and less of what you wish you had. Conversely, when you begin to expect what you truly want in your life, more of that will show up.

It is easy to get caught up in the idea the when things are good, they will last forever, and when things are bad, they will never end.  We are more or less trained for catastrophic thinking – if this happens, then that will occur; I can’t see a way out of this, and all is lost; I am in this mess and there is no way out, and all the other versions of doom and gloom.

In one era of my life, back in the 1980s, a banker friend assured me that we were heading to imminent global financial collapse. I believed him – after all, he had so much expertise. So I cashed in my IRA and took my mom to her father’s birthplace in Ireland, and we threw in England, Scotland and Wales. It was the trip of a lifetime for her.

So what is the lesson here?

I bought into catastrophic thinking and cashed in my retirement and then found myself having to start saving all over again fairly far along toward my retirement years. When the world economic system didn’t collapse, I came back from our trip and started a new career. It turned out to be better in many ways than the one I left.

Not everyone is as impulsive as I am, however most of us make mistaken judgments at times and then have to make whole new set of choices as a consequence. And often it can appear as if we have no control over things happening in our lives, it seems as if everything is happening outside of us.

A friend of mine kept saying he was bored with his job and wanted to do something else, but just couldn’t figure out what. Then he was fired. It was only after he lost his job that he found what he truly wanted to do and he is now much happier. He hadn’t allowed himself to get clear before as he was tied into the ‘security’ of his previous job, but it was not fulfilling and so his secret, internal wish found a way to free him.

Things change all the time, and every day is filled with some pleasant and some not-so-pleasant things.

The critical element is to focus on what you want rather than dwelling on what you don’t.

Winston Churchill was one of the very smart people who said that, Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.  He was speaking of our collective history, however, it works just as significantly in our personal lives.

What is fortunate today is that we have direct access to the information from the new science, quantum science, neuroscience, and epigenetics.  All of these areas give us the information we need to make the changes in our thinking that will consequently change our lives.

When you shift your perception of ‘mistakes’ or ‘wrong decisions’ or ‘bad things’ to ‘what can I make of this’ and ‘what do I want instead of what I have’, then you begin to live your life very differently. What you put your focus on is what you will see as an outcome in your life, what you truly expect is what will show up in your life.

So what do you want to focus on in this New Year and in this new historical era?

What do you say to yourself when you wake up every morning?  Is it Oh, no, it’s morning, or Oh man, I am not looking forward to today, or Oh well, another day, another dollar?

You can give yourself a new morning mantra like, I expect miracles today, or I am grateful for my life, or today I live my greatness. Choose anything that resonates with you personally, it is your morning mantra. And what is the most important thing you can do for yourself to insure you will see the results you want? Live with an attitude of gratitude. Be grateful for what you have now, and then watch that expand in your life.

What is your choice today – will you find the rain an obstacle – or will you choose to dance in the rain?

Katie Garnett, Ph.D, is a contributing blogger for JenningsWire, a blogging community created by Annie Jennings.