Oops, was I supposed to bring a Hostess gift?
Oh no, she just gave me a gift and I did not get one for her (ahhhhhhhh!)
Sorry I’m late, did you start the dinner party without me?
Ohhhh, I didn’t know Poinsettias were poison, I hope your cat will be ok.
I always arrive at the party already half in the bag, what’s wrong with that?
But you won’t make these holiday blunders again this year, right?
JenningsWire features Etiquette Expert, Judith Re’ of JudithRe.com, founder of the The Judith Re’ Academie and author of Social Savvy Feeling Confident in any Social Situation ( Simon & Schuster) as she presents the following Holiday etiquette tips to keep you out of trouble throughout the season. Here we go!
What are the holiday rules of the road?
Give gifts from your heart not your head. This is not the time to butter up your boss or someone who you think will help you if you give them an amazing gift. It anything, it might cause embarrassment that they don’t have a gift of that importance for you or they’ll feel obligated and uncomfortable because that is not how they perceived your relationship.
Who should you tip and how much?
If you tip, enclose the tip in a card and write a little something that denotes your appreciation in the note. Please don’t put yourself in debt to keep up with “the Jones” whether it be an extra week’s pay the cleaning lady receives or a round trip ticket for your Nanny to see her family on the opposite coast. You should tip the manicurist , handyman who seems to know how to fix everything, delivery person, garbage men, snow removal person. The amount might not be in cash, it might be gift cards for coffee or food.
Should it be cash or candy?
In some instances is just the right touch as they say, candy is dandy and during the Holidays most folks love a little something sweet to splurge from their everyday lifestyle, please add with a personal note of letting them know you were thinking of them. Cash is cash, it is what it is, and in many situations, example a doorman that is what’s expected but a personal note is still required!
Who should get presents over money?
Money lends itself for folks who’ve worked with you on a service level, whether it be a doorman, car concierge, delivery person or cleaning staff. Presents, are exchanged with people who you experience on a personal level, whether it be family, co-worker, dear friend, troop leader/coach, teacher, friendly neighbor, and most of all family.
What should you bring the host of a Holiday party?
During the Holidays, hosts love gifts they can share with others, whether it be a tree ornament that shares a connection with the host, yummy seasonal or exotic food items or a bottle of Champagne for the host or hostess to enjoy when they recap their Holiday soiree’.
Invited to a Holiday dinner? What is the appropriate gift?
Everyone always loves wine or Champagne, or a fine tawny port, dessert wine, lovely cheese knives, decadent chocolates, or even a picture frame with their family holiday card they sent you already in the frame.
Holiday blunders to avoid
Sending or bringing a Poinsettia plant if the family has pets, arriving with fresh cut flowers and the hostess has to stop and arrange them in a vase, drinking so much that one slides down the slippery slope from lively guest to sloppy guest, arriving so late you Hostess has to begin the meal without you, not sending a thank you note for a gift or to the host for a lovely party, falling asleep while your guests are still in your home and thinking that since you’re a little tipsy it’s OK to tell someone how you feel about them good or bad.
Mistakes people and guests commonly make during the Holiday
When the host forgets to introduce you to the other guests, arriving at a Holiday party when you’ve “pre-gamed” and you’re already tipsy, not having a gift for someone who has a gift for you (always have a few extra gifts in Holiday bags just in case) and not wearing the appropriate party attire for the event.
Tips provided by Judith Ré
JudithRe.com is an Etiquette Expert and Author, and founder of Judith Re’ Academie. Her books include Social Savvy -Feeling Confident in any Social Situation . Judith is the founder and president of the Judith Ré Académie for Instruction in the Social Graces, a company she founded in 1986 to teach good manners to children and adults attending her weekend classes at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Boston.
Judith Ré is a recognized author and expert on etiquette, and has directed programs in many major cities across the nation. An accomplished speaker and lecturer, she has conducted seminars for thousands of participants over the past 24 years. Judith Ré is also the author Social Savvy®: A Teenager’s Guide to Feeling Confident in Any Situation published by Simon & Schuster, which went through 14 printings over the course of more than a decade.
The Judith Ré Académie: Established in Boston’s elegant and fashionable Back Bay neighborhood in 1986, The Judith Ré Académie now located in Fairfield County has continually set the standard through programs designed expressly to enhance the social skills for etiquette and manners in the United States. With impeccable attention to detail, each client from children, boarding school and college bound young adult to corporate leaders are genuinely inspired to rise to their personal expectations regarding etiquette, manners and their social skills. Combining classic manners with a generous nod to modern manners and etiquette of today, the nationally known Social Savvy® programs promote and encourage the necessary tools to navigate within our world with ease and style. The result is your ticket, allowing you to comfortably step out into the world with confidence.
Note From Annie: Thanks Judith, these tips are amazing. We have to do the next one on your teenager’s guide!
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