Upon realizing we source our difficulties we may feel trapped.
Good news is this realization can instigate change to benefit us for life.
Self-honesty to identify ourselves as our own challenge is courageous, bringing rewards.
Once we realize that we are causing our difficulties, identifying how in most simple terms is a first key to solutions.
Analysis of childhood background, contrary to popular belief, is not the answer.
Looking clearly at one feeling we are emphasizing to make ourselves miserable, or subtly disappointed, is the first step. In one word, what are you feeling that is unbearable or worthy of running, avoiding, distracting, and fighting?
Name this feeling with one word. Examples: sad, jealous, angry, competitive, condemning, judgmental, impatient, self-hating, etc.
Next, identify a quality to experience instead. You have an unlimited bank account of qualities to choose from. Any quality can be yours. Examples: Instead of feeling devastated I prefer to feel joyful, fulfilled, peaceful, content, full of laughter, inspired, etc.
You are probably wondering, “How can I release a habitual feeling I no longer need?”
“How do I replace the feeling with a quality I prefer?”
There are many ways including hypnotherapy, success-love-now, EMDR, EFT, expressive arts therapy, etc. To ensure above methods assist you effectively, start with gratitude. Focus on what you do appreciate. What do you appreciate about others, self, challenging life situations? What good situations are current? What else do you appreciate about this life?
The second way to aid effectiveness of processes mentioned above is to focus on intention. What do you prefer to be creating, experiencing, and encountering? You may not know how to get there yet. Identifying what you do intend to create is the most important in future (or present) arrival.
The aspect of self-change most challenging for many is altering the biology and brain chemistry.
These physical realities give impetus to your patterned emotional responses. Hypnotherapy, success-love-now, EMDR, EFT, expressive arts therapy and many others are sound methods to help you alter your reality favorably.
Lovingly embrace the feeling that is ailing you, over and over. Sit with this feeling as though this feeling is a loved animal or child. Sit patiently. Take the time. Focus on the feeling with tender love and acceptance.
CAUTION: Do not do this part alone if you have been diagnosed with or think you have a mental illness.
Delve fully into sensations of the feeling.
Feel fully, while suspending thoughts about the feeling. Merge into fabric of the feeling with your own consciousness. Do so with complete focus, not acting on urges to run or fight the feeling. Let urges pass through you. You will find the feeling fully changes. For effective results, receive assistance from a counselor.
As you change the currency in your emotional bank account from non- preferred to preferred feelings, your perceptions of those around you will change. If you slip back to old habits, love yourself. Change is an ongoing practice! The greatest gifts are in the repetition.
Laurie A Moore
Read more posts by Laurie Moore, LMFT, CHT, PhD here. Dr. Moore blogs for JenningsWire.
