Say that we receive a tremendous blow or maybe many tremendous blows.
Maybe it’s constant belittlement in childhood. Maybe it’s too much chaos and punishment. We take that in and we become less than and different from who we might have been.
If that hadn’t happened we might not have needed to use food for comfort. We might not have created so many dramas. We might not have run away so often. We might not have become so self-critical. But it did happen and we became that person – we became us.
We sense that wound and its current consequences. We try to heal. We read books, take workshops, and begin healing practices. These are good, smart things. We do more than that. We try to change our patterns and upgrade our personality. We feel that we’ve made some progress or even great strides. Maybe we even think that we’ve healed ourselves. Then we slip and fall, act as we used to act, and make quite a mess.
Now we’re burdened by the added shame and disappointment of not having managed to heal ourselves.
Here is the habit to learn.
The wound is deep, the healing is real, but slips and falls will happen. The habit is to repeat the healing. The habit is to try again. The habit is to say, “It’s not so easy being this new, better me. But that’s still my goal and intention!”
Repeat the healing.
Our life is a project. The work is ongoing. The damage was real and repairs will be needed. The jungle will swallow up unattended jungle cities, no matter how magnificently those cities were built. There is the building and then there is the ongoing attention, the ongoing repair, the ongoing healing.
Do not be too disappointed if an old wound reopens or if you stumble in exactly the same place you stumbled last time. Try again. Nothing good comes from throwing up your hands and calling yourself ruined. Call yourself a work in progress and repeat the healing.
Read more posts by Eric Maisel, Ph.D., a JenningsWire blogger.