We all have found ourselves in very angering situations.
The inconsiderate fool who cuts us in line at the grocery store, the driver of the car that clearly speeds through a huge puddle and soaks us while we are waiting to cross the street, the Aunt who continues to insult us by judging our wardrobe or career choices, or the co-worker who feeds our frenzy by doing less than we do, and complains to us continuously about how “hard their job is!”
Again, these people can drive us crazy, and cause such disruption in our emotional equilibrium that we take their inconsideration and nonsense into our own worlds, then we take out our frustration with them out on innocent parties in our lives.
Stop this madness!
But how? Many readers of my book, Defeating Depression: The Calm and Sense Way to Find Happiness and Satisfaction, have found great peace in what I have coined the “10 Year Rule.”
What is that? Glad you asked! The “10 Year Rule” is simple to use, and can save anyone a trip to a therapist’s office, an emotional meltdown, arguments at home and perhaps years to your life.
How does it work? Like this:
When anyone insults you, frustrates you, angers you or in any way, shape or form, or disturbs your emotional equilibrium, ask yourself this very simple question!
“Will this statement, comment, opinion, etc., mean anything to me in 10 years?“ If it won’t, and 9 times out of 10 it won’t, then why should I let it take power over my happiness? Think about it.
We all have much more power over our emotional reactions to others than we realize. So, we need to keep that control, and challenge exactly who said what, and why we allow them to take us into states of frenzy! “Will it matter to me 10 years from now?” If it won’t, then let it go!
The “5 Minute Rule“ is for those of us who continuously seek answers from our loved ones or friends.
In other words, how many times do you think your spouse, son or friend needs to hear from you, “You have to stop drinking!” “When will you lose all that weight?” “You need to get a job!” These are issues that can take months, or years to be accomplished if at all, certainly not in 5 minutes!
What can be accomplished in 5 minutes?
Plenty! If someone has lipstick unevenly placed, a collar turned upside down, crumbs on their face, or a fly down! These are the times we should inform someone of what we know that will help someone in 5 Minutes or Less! Does anyone truly believe the one millionth, seven-hundred and sixty-fifth time we say, “You need to stop drinking alcohol!” will be the one that does the trick!? I certainly hope not.
Relieve yourself of undue stress and frustration by using these two tools for emotional equilibrium!
Use them everyday. Many of my clients, and readers have and are, and they have felt the benefit of the simplicity of “Calm and Sense” living! Try them today, and let me know how they work for you too!
Read more posts by Leo Battenhausen, MSW, addiction and mental health counselor. Leo is a blogger for JenningsWire.