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You Are Fine My Dear, Forget What The Psychology Book Said


Enjoy taking a warm steam-bath full of vanilla and honeysuckle?

Imagine vines of these flowers and pods around you, favorite music playing in the background. Delicious, yes? Maybe you’re more active. Your equivalent might be a brisk bike ride, wind on your face, evergreen-scent permeating the air. What feelings does this invoke?

Think of what you most appreciate. How do you feel? Imagine an ideal situation to experience. This is how effective self-dialogue can feel; yummy.

Does it feel good to diagnosis yourself with pathologies, talk about yourself as sick because you have emotions and bodily-energy? Please note the uncomfortable feelings arising in your tummy at this thought. I’m getting nauseous myself. Perhaps subtle pain in your limbs just multiplied exponentially! Negative psychological babble is popular. Don’t fall for it.

Positively focused dialogue with yourself or a good counselor returns you to peace, yumminess, and joy. No need to label yourself with popular mental diagnosis. Bathe in gratitude, steep in intention, find non-preferred feelings evaporating, replaced with fulfilling emotions.

What if PTSD was enjoyable and healthy catharsis, depression a time for mediation, and anxiety a key to passion? What if feeling many emotions was considered healthy? What if every aspect of your personality you deemed problematic was actually there to help you? You would be fine. Guess what. You are! You are normal. Having emotions, contractions, expansions, and bodily experiences is natural. As a baby nobody diagnosed you. You loved to wiggle your toes as you shed some tears. Everyone let you laugh and cry! You let things go quickly. Let all diagnosis go for a moment!

Eat your favorite chocolate. Health-food conscious? Great! Eat cacao! Your inner-dialogues can taste this good. I learned to make mine healthy gourmet. Mmmmmm. You can too. Time with a listener can feel this nourishing. Good can come of good. Working with hundreds of people on-on-one, I noticed those focused on pleasure and joy transformed challenges significantly faster than those dwelling on pathologies.

Take note of ways you put yourself down during thought-conversations with yourself. Self-forgiveness is available! Remind yourself you are lovable instead. Focus on gratitude. Point out to yourself a situation for which you are grateful. Include appreciation for aspects of yourself you most respect! Look at basic intentions you have. Notice good in that. Be thankful you have your own ways of doing things. Think about pleasurable qualities to add to your everyday conversations. The universe offers an unlimited bank account of qualities. Examples: laughter, joy, kindness, playfulness.

Self-help books help but don’t take the characters as a set reality. Vignettes are descriptions of temporary experiences, not whole people. Who really lives like a self-help character all day? Nobody. You are qualities of life in motion. No need to compare yourself to anyone. You are fine being you. Imagine you are under a warm waterfall full of soothing sound. Washing over you it takes yourself doubt. Voila. You are fresh, clean, and adored now. Oh, I feel so much better. My tummy is happy and my skin is tingling. You?

As a real human many experiences are yours. None define you forever. You make new choices. You are a complex being. You are absolutely good.

Think I tell you this from what I learned in school?  No, it’s what I learn chatting at the grocery store, in the forest with myself,  and in the virtual office listening with full heart and ears to my clients who seek fulfillment!

Read more posts by Laurie Moore, JenningsWire blogger.