Most people have the whole dating thing wrong.
In this day and age of ADD, fiber optic downloading, express lanes and overnight delivery, people seem to be in such a rush to get to the destination that they overlook the importance of the journey itself.
You meet someone, you sleep with them before you know their last name, and then voila! you are locked into an exclusive, committed relationship, no questions asked (much to your surprise, sometimes). Months later (or years if you’re a slow learner, in denial or supremely stubborn), you discover that you don’t really have the important things in common with this person. Namely, liking them.
So in order to actually get to know the other person, I give you the 3 stages of dating:
1. Window shopping (i.e. pre-dating dating). This first stage, marked by a distinct lack of sexual intimacy, including kissing, hand-holding and twerking (in fact, twerking should be omitted from all stages of everything), is almost completely overlooked. If it looks an awful lot like platonic friends, well, that’s because it is. Numerous studies have shown that feelings of sexual desire and love stem from the same place in the brain which means that being sexual with someone can trigger an emotional attachment, making you believe that the lust you’re feeling is actually love.
Let me put it this way: when you’re in the market to buy a new car, do you walk onto the first car lot, point to the first shiny auto you see, and then sign the contract? No way José. Before you even test drive a car, you do your research first to determine what you even want.
2. Test-driving (i.e. dating). In stage two you have still not sealed the deal, though you may now discard your sexual restraining order. Be wary of Premature Relationship Disorder, though. (PRD is when a man or woman experiences relationship feelings soon after dating and with minimal stimulation. A common problem, so I’m told.) Though you’re quite aware that you are attracted to each other, you still have to test drive a few models. In other words, now that you’ve investigated what exactly you’d like in a car, it’s time to put your theory to the test. Take out a few cars, drive around, see what this baby is made of. And not just in normal conditions; check out the car’s ability to maneuver dangerous or unusual terrain. Does it have annoying blind spots? Is the sound system pleasing? Don’t overlook these criterion or they’ll come back to bite you in the ass later on.
3. The purchase (i.e. a relationship). Ah, finally! Now that you’ve gotten to know him or her as a person with no agenda and upped your level of engagement to ascertain whether you are romantically compatible, you are ready to change your Facebook status to ‘In a Relationship’! Let the Likes, Comments and Jealousies begin!
Welcome to the mature relationship! You’re clear on what you want, you’ve gone out with several that match your criteria, and now you’ve made space in your garage for your favorite. Is it a sporty Little Deuce Coupe? Or a classy Mercedes Benz? How about a sexy Little Red Corvette?
Selena Templeton is a blogger with JenningsWire Online Magazine. For more posts by Selena please visit here.
JenningsWire.com is an online feature magazine created by National Publicist, Annie Jennings, of the PR Firm specializing in providing publicity services and book promotion to authors, speakers and experts. Annie’s firm offers the famous pay for placement publicity program as well the powerful radio talk show campaign that comes up a guarantee of performance, bookings on big radio talk shows in major cities as well as unlimited media training.