Lately I have been reading about dream interpretation.
I used to try and decode my dreams a few years ago. I stopped soon after realizing how neurotic and anxiety-ridden I must have been due to reoccurring nightmares of my teeth falling out. If there is such a thing as a dream dentist then I want to have that job because I would be ridiculously rich. (By the way, they say dentists have some of the highest rates of depression and suicide…They also say Seattle has the highest suicide rates and subscriptions to anti-depression medication…so if I ever do make it as a dream dentist, I will NOT be visiting clients who live there. Sorry in advance, Seattleites.)
Anyway, I have recently gotten back into it, due to unemployment and boredom, and have actually found it pretty exciting. I honestly do think it is an enlightening way to truly dig deeper and increase the understanding of one’s inner self. But, never mind that, I’ve found a way to really use dream interpretation to my advantage.
I spread the word to my boyfriend of my newfound hobby and told him to come to me for dream interpretation and advice. I showed him my Dream Interpreter resume, which was my search history littered with scientific sites like “Magical Powers: Dream Dictionary” and “Destiny’s Gate.” Obviously I was not messing around.
A few days later, he came to me with some silly dream.
I honestly don’t remember what it was yet I found myself pretending to be a professional. I told him that his dream was very serious, and he should be very worried about the state of his sub-conscious. I gave him some of my sage advice and told him that in order to be happy in his conscious world he needs to start taking care of the things around him.
I gave him some subtle examples of ways he can improve his inner happiness and (little did he know) improve my inner happiness as well. I told him he needs to do the dishes more, start cooking delicious meals, brush his teeth better at night so his breath isn’t as bad in the morning, he should not only cuddle more but WANT to cuddle more, and lastly, he should get off my back about how much chocolate I eat when it’s “that time of month.” Ahh.. another successful therapy session.
Now, you too can use the transcendent power of dream interpretation to vastly improve your life and well-being… or not. All I know is that now I wake up to the refreshing smell of minty fresh toothpaste, a pristine bathroom, and I have more chocolate than Willy Wonka.
