For the most part, good men do not want to hurt the woman they have been in a relationship with and they certainly do not want to make her cry. Therefore, when it comes to ending a relationship, they will often try a gentle approach thinking it is the best for her.
However, this can leave a woman scratching her head and asking, “Is it over for good, or is there still hope?” This is usually followed by weeks of struggle going over every word he said in that last conversation in order to figure out if she should let go or hold on.
In reality, all he wanted was to avoid crushing her and to make a more comfortable exit for himself. However, she is left in a painful state of limbo swinging back and forth between hurt, anger, and hope.
So how do you know if he is really done?
Here are some common “gentle” statements a man might say if he wants out of the relationship.
- I am taking a break from dating. I need some time to get back to myself.
- I am too busy with work right now to date anyone.
- I want to put some distance in between us right now and gain some perspective.
- Its not you, you are great! I just need some time to sort through things.
- I am not where I want to be in life, I need to get my career sorted out.
- I just want to date you, you deserve more and I am not ready for more.
- I have so much on my plate right now I need some time.
To be clear, if he is saying these types of things, he is trying to end the relationship. The men who use this approach believe they are minimizing a woman’s pain and suffering and do not realize it actually can cause more.
On the other hand, if a man is truly struggling with some issues in his life perhaps with his career, finances, his ex-wife, his children, etc., he may want to step back and have time to straighten it all out. However, if this is the case, he will ask her for some time, for her to be patient and to wait for him. He will clearly let her know he wants to be with her but needs some time.
The bottom line is that when a man wants to be with a woman he makes it obvious. However, if he does not, he is not always so clear.