I work with men and women around the country helping them with all aspects of their relationship.
From learning how to talk to one another in each other’s language to healing from an infidelity and everything in between. However, there is one thing I wish I could tell everyone who is in a relationship and that is this: “Your relationship is fragile – please handle with care!”
Relationships are similar to living organisms; they need consistent attention, love, and nurturing to thrive. Unfortunately, many couples forget this simple fact, take their partner for granted, or even worse, “act-out” their stress and issues on one another. Each time this occurs, a piece of the foundation of their relationship is chipped away leaving in its place damage to their bond.
In most cases this harm is relatively minor in the beginning, but as this continues the destruction compounds, leaving negative cyclical patterns in the relationship. The once happy couple will now find themselves saying things like, “Ugh marriage is so hard!” or “He/she is very difficult to deal with!” or “I am not sure how much more of this I can handle!”
So how can a couple avoid this all too familiar place?
Consciously remember that the relationship is and always will be “fragile”. By this, I mean that even the best relationship can be broken with mistreatment. A relationship becomes susceptible to this when one or both partners:
- Take their partner for granted.
- Call their partner names.
- Demean or diminish their partner.
- Withhold affection and/or sex from their partner.
- Stop communicating about their feelings and issues with their partner.
- Emotionally shut their partner out.
- Are short-tempered and easily irritated with their partner.
- Discount all the good their partner does for them and their relationship.
- Focuses on and points out the negative qualities of their partner.
- Disrespects their partner with their words or actions, especially in social settings.
The best advice I have is to never do any of these things in your relationship. Always treat your partner as if they are precious priceless cargo placed in your care to keep safe. That being said, we as humans, will have bad days and moods and will do things to damage the relationship. The important thing to remember is to quickly repair any mistake made with a sincere apology and lots of tender love and care.
Read more posts by Bree Maresca-Kramer, M.A., nationally recognized relationship expert, acclaimed relationship & life coach, talk radio show host, relationship expert & pop culture analyst columnist. Bree blogs for JenningsWire.