Everyone loves a good love song.
A particular tune comes on the radio, your heart thumps and you start daydreaming of that special guy or gal.
But wait a second, what exactly are those lyrics saying?
Take away the deep, crooning voice, the swelling chorus, the verbal tears and what have you got? A Top 40 Codependent Love Song, that’s what.
Let’s take another look at some popular love songs and see what’s really going on:
- I Need Someone – “Today my love has gone away/He won’t be back he wants it that way/And I need someone to take his place/Someone with a warm embrace.”
I’ve got two words for this: rebound relationship. This woman is afraid to be alone and mourn the end of her relationship, so she attempts to dive into a new one to mask her pain.
- I Will Follow Him – “I will follow him, follow him/Wherever he may go/And near him I always will be/For nothing can keep me away/He is my destiny.”
Can you say stalker? When people start using the d-word and declare that nothing will keep them away, it’s time to get a restraining order and an unlisted phone number.
- Baby Love – “I need you, oh how I need you/But all you do is treat me bad/Break my heart and leave me sad/Tell me, what did I do wrong/To make you stay away so long.”
He treats her bad and she wonders what she did wrong? This song should be called Abusive Love. Hie thee to therapy, lady!
- My World Is Empty Without You.
Well, I don’t even need to get into the lyrics here. The title says it all. Where are her friends, her job, her hobbies?
- Addicted To Love – “Your lights are on, but you’re not home/Your will is not your own/Your heart sweats and teeth grind/Another kiss and you’ll be mine/Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love.”
At least he’s honest, I’ll give him that. But points are deducted because he’s consciously seducing an addict to get what he wants. He ought to be singing “Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love. And I know of a good 12-step program that can help you with that.”
- Don’t You Want Me – “You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar/When I met you…/ Turned you into someone new…/But don’t forget it’s me who put you where you are now/And I can put you back down too./Don’t, don’t you want me?/You know I don’t believe you when you say that you don’t need me.”
The song of the narcissist. He helped her, so now she owes him—or she’ll be sorry. He’s also got trust issues. I wouldn’t touch this guy with a ten-foot pole. Unless I was trying to keep him out of my apartment.
So next time you turn on the radio or your iPod shuffles to the next song, you might want to run the lyrics by your favorite couples counselor. And remember what Bill Maher once said: “Women [or men] cannot complain about men [or women] anymore until they start getting better taste in them.”
Read more posts by Selena Templeton, love and relationship expert. Selena blogs for JenningsWire.