Valentines Day is the most romantic day of the year.
Or is it merely the most romantic day of the year for Hallmark? I imagine the CEO of Hallmark dancing around the office, singing love songs, and floating on cloud nine—as the cash rolls in. But what if you’re single? This Day of Love makes a mockery out of you. It will corner you in the playground, steal your lunch, and ridicule you until you cry uncle.
Star-crossed lovers used to hand-write letters, poems and the occasional dirty limerick to express their feelings to their paramour. Now, you just dash into the closest drugstore and grab a mass-produced greeting card with a message that thousands of others are receiving at the same time. Romantic? I don’t think so. Sure, not all of us can be Shakespeare, but that doesn’t mean you can’t come up with something personal in your own handwriting (and no, created with a Smartphone App doesn’t count).
There is actually an alternative holiday for people not in a relationship on February 14 called Singles Appreciation Day.
The acronym, in case you missed it, is SAD. And I’d bet a box of diabetes-inducing candy that a patronizing married woman invented this day for all her so-called sad single friends. In fact, on the SAD website it says: “for those who kind of like being single, it’s a blessing and a reason to have some fun!” Italics mine. Jesus, even the people who came up with this celebratory day for singles find it hard to celebrate being single!
Not all of us who are single are sad, embarrassed, or despondent about our status. If you read back over some of my blogs, like “Netflix Knows Me Better Than My Boyfriend“, I’m sure you’ll be vicariously relieved for me. This doesn’t mean I’m going to cook a candlelight dinner for one, serenade myself, or have flowers delivered to my house and feign surprise on this day. But it also doesn’t mean that I’m going to cry when I see a smiling woman trying to stuff a bouquet of red balloons into her car, scold couples showcasing their kissing skills, or boycott Nicholas Sparks books-slash-movies (ok, maybe I will, but that’s something I do all year).
Being single is not a sin, a flaw, or a sign of psychosis. I’ve grown quite tired of people who, after hearing that I’m single, say, “Really? How?” My response is usually in the sarcastic vein: “It’s quite easy, really. You just don’t date anyone.” Or worse, they look at you pitifully and try to console you with, “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone.” I’m almost tempted to reply, “Oh I have. Your husband.”
Don’t get me wrong—I love being in a relationship. I just don’t consider my life empty or pathetic without one. So this Valentines Day I’ll be celebrating the fact that it’s Thursday.
Read more posts by Selena Templeton, love and relationship expert.