At one time or another, most of us have resorted to blaming another person or circumstances beyond our control for some kind of pickle we’ve found ourselves in.
This is a very common and natural thing that humans do. Blame removes personal responsibility. Blame shifts the cause of the problem outside of oneself onto another activator such as a different person, a natural event, or even society.
So, in one swoop, blame puts the source elsewhere and makes one a sad victim.
Victim? You may not like that word. Victim means you’ve been helpless against someone’s deeds or the universe’s motives. God caused your problem! Or a bad person did.
Sad? When you blame, and thus cast yourself in the role of victim, you instantly define yourself as helpless and as a pawn. There are people who get an emotional pay-off by creating this narrative because they can be pitied. But I, for one, would rather stay in the role of being in control of my fate, and of having some influence over it rather than being impotent.
Let’s look at blame differently. Let’s look at predicaments from a karmic perspective.
Are you who you are because of your parents and how they treated you? Karmically, you chose these parents so as to experience past-life patterns, or to have the chance to resolve ancient problems with them. So even if they were terrible parents – abusive, abandoning, molesting, and so forth – you had some choice on the soul level before incarnation and what you do with the situation now, as an adult, as an aware person, negates blame and puts you in the driver’s seat. What if you were born with, or through an accident, found yourself disabled, disfigured, or otherwise imperfect physically? You can blame the circumstances of your birth, you can blame God, you can blame bad luck. Still, perhaps there was a cosmic choice behind such an experience, a choice that you bargained for, a choice that will give you a profound way to learn compassion, endurance, patience, or the power of will, and even an opportunity to mentor others as what is called in metaphysics The Wounded Healer. This is a road to joy, not depression; a path to empowerment, not helplessness; and a way out of blame into personal responsibility on every level (including your lovelife).
Examine your thinking. Watch your own story. Whenever you are tempted to cast blame, stop and think about what the circumstance, however distressing, might be teaching you. Might have been chosen by you. Might be an acceleration tool for your soul growth.
Ditch blame! It’s one of the low-level vibrational states, along with guilt and apathy, that add to suffering rather than removing it. Rather, believe in choice. All is chosen. You are no longer the victim. You participated in the choice of every bit of your life, even in your own death! You are the Co-Creator.
Judi Thomases is a contributing blogger for JenningsWire online magazine.
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