I know texting, emailing and social media is the way everyone communicates today.
The internet has put us all in touch in an instant making it easier to organize our life, share a joke, or keep in touch with people you wouldn’t ordinarily have time to connect to.
But often times texting and emailing have become our only method of communication and in the world of dating, where men and women are in the stages of getting to know one another, I don’t feel it should always be the first method of choice. How can one build intimacy and trust with another person when most of the initial connections are in the body of a text?
Yes, I do agree texting can become quite addictive.
I text to make plans for lunch, dinner, even for a walk with my girlfriends and our canine companions. But in my situation, I have already established strong bonds with the people I am texting. When you are dating, and attempting to get to know people you have the daunting task of trying to figure out whether or not you have anything in common. You need to connect often to figure this out. The most effective way to do this is to let someone in a little bit at a time.
Sharing a joke on a text email isn’t the same as hearing someone’s laughter at the other end of the phone. Listening to your girlfriends rough day at work and offering support would never be conveyed the same way in an email. She sends; “Really bad day, my boss in a terrible mood.” He responds; “Oh, that’s really too bad, hope the day gets better.” Wow, I bet that really made her feel a whole lot better!
I always tell my daughter to try to discourage men from texting her for a date, especially in the beginning phase of a potential relationship.
Life is hectic, I get it.
I know you don’t always have time to chat on the phone, but there is always that minute in a day to connect. Your budding relationship has a better chance to build the strong foundation you seek. Picking up the phone and saying; “Are you free this Friday night? Great. Does French food sound good to you?” can turn into a spontaneous conversation about something far more intimate than just making dinner plans. The phone call you two shared on Tuesday, may have opened up an exchange where personal information was shared. That evening, that conversation, may have been the perfect time to reveal a part of you that forms trust and a stronger bond. A text for that very same date would have been a sorely missed moment for further progression in your relationship.
Relationships need constant tending, especially in the beginning.
That spontaneous little chat you had where you had shared a little bit more about yourself two days prior to the date, may set the stage for something beautiful to happen between the two of you. Dial that number, make the call, at least part of the time.
Create more opportunities to reveal who you really are. Talk, laugh, use your wit and charm, show the person on other end of the phone what a wonderful person you are and convey to them how much you want to get to know them. Your potential love interest will know you are taking the time to do so. You may be surprised at the response and the benefits.
But please do me a favor, don’t check your emails or texts during your date together. I will be watching!!