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Conversations With The Tuesday Night Girls: Bored? Join A Dating Service!

After a couple of “dry” conversations ended with everyone staring at their wine glasses or beer bottles, Janine came up with the big idea that one of the singles in our group should join a dating service just for fun.

It was bound to provide hours of laughter for the group and future writing material for the resident writer:  that would be moi.

Unfortunately, there were no takers, so one serendipitous night in front of  my computer, I took the initiative and did it myself.

I spent a good hour writing a profile page which included such hobbies as studying the French language and gourmet cooking.

One of my preferences for that “special one,” was that he should be just as comfortable in a tux as in a pair of jeans; there were other preferences, but maybe not quite as defining as that one.

Suddenly, my e-mail box filled up with, “Here is your perfect match!” or I received,”Hey, I liked your profile – write me,” notifications.

But it seemed like every time I clicked on one of those promising to be a match, it turned out to be a 50-year old biker dude wearing leathers and chains – not someone I could picture comfortably wearing a tux.

I shook my head in wonder at how a matching service could pair me with someone so completely opposite from my profile!  Oh well, it was really just a whim anyway, something to bring to the Tuesday night table for discussion, and that it certainly did.

Then, one profile hit:  A professor at a local college who spoke French.  You know, it’s amazing the number of single men out there looking for a sugar-mama.  No, not a young trophy, but a middle-aged woman of means.

Enter, Tom.

As it turned out, he had a boatload of kids to pay child support for, and he was terribly interested in the details of my alimony.  Further, he annoyingly kept confusing me with all the other “honeys” he had in his little black book, and had no reservations about chatting about them when we were together.

This hit home particularly hard when once we attended a fundraiser, and our conversation about the movie, “Inglorious Bastards” turned a bit sour:  “Have you seen, “Inglorious Bastards?” he asked me.  I just stared at him.  “Yes, Tom, you and I saw “Inglorious Bastards” together last weekend.”  “Oh, that was you?” he asked me without a thought.  Crash and burn.

That was our last date despite the fact that he looked great in a tux.

I can now scratch “dating service” off of my bucket list and, since that turned out badly, I’ve decided to scratch “skydiving” off of my list as well.

See you next Tuesday!