As a life coach, most of my clients come in wanting to live an authentic life, but somewhere along their journey they make bad choices.
The result? They’re forced to live with the consequences of those actions. But if you asked them if they feel those actions truly represent who they are inside, most often they will tell you they don’t.
Why, then, do we do things that go against our own best interests? It’s almost as if we’re driven to act out by other forces that control our behavior. These other forces are called Impostors—the unresolved voices in our head that cloud our judgment and sabotage our lives, the masks we wear to defend ourselves from pain or the promise of pain, whether that’s physical or emotional.
One way to turn your life around, control those Impostors, and live an authentic life is by doing internal work, and this internal work I call Soul Blazing. Soul Blazing is a form of therapy that helps us understand the defense mechanisms that keep us from living fearless, confident, and honest lives.
Here are a few tips on how to tether yourself to the real you.
- Connect with yourself every day. Every morning when you’re getting ready for your day in the bathroom, look at yourself in the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes and ask yourself who you are and who you want to be. It’s harder than it looks! If you don’t do that, there’s a strong chance your Impostor will live your life for you.
- “Thank you.” There’s nothing like being grateful. If shifts your thinking and shifts your habits. Think of five things you’re grateful for every day. They can be simple things. I’m breathing, I have access to clean water, I have friends and family who love me, I have the potential to give and receive love. Sound cheesy? That’s the Impostor in your head protecting you from being vulnerable. Don’t be afraid. Being grateful means being happy.
- Volunteer. Human happiness is derived from being of service to others, and there is no faster way to separate yourself from your own self-concerned tendencies than to impact someone else’s life, however big or small that action may be.
- Dare to dream. Is there something in your life you haven’t done that you’ve dreamed to do? Why haven’t you made it happen? Unless your dream is to step foot on the moon, the odds are strong that you could actualize this dream. Perhaps it’s because you feel you don’t deserve it? Or perhaps it’s because you may fail? Don’t listen to the voices of fear. You were born with limitless possibilities, and the challenges of life try to convince you “no.” Make your life a “yes” life, and authentic life.