The pain in my hips was increasing.
Walking, sitting and standing became a difficult if not impossible task. The only thing I was able to do was lay on my stomach on my bed. It was from that position I ate my meals and did my work from my laptop computer. The task of moving was almost impossible. Problematic also was the task of trying to maintain my fighter’s position emotionally. Instead of ready to fight I was ready to give up when I contacted my doctor for stronger pain meds.
A few tests later with a thorough examination my doctor had answers for me. It wasn’t necessarily a need for a stronger pain med but for a different cancer treatment. Neither the doctor nor I had any idea of what was happening. The medicine I was taking for my breast and bone cancer had stopped working. New cancer growths had showed up in my right hip and tailbone areas only to add to the multiple lesions already there.
With the news of the new cancer growth came the growth of new emotions of fear and uncertainty. At the drop of a hat or at the slightest movement came tears that kept my cheeks watered down and somewhat clean. One day in the midst of the tears I began to think about my battle with stress seizures over 20 years ago. I couldn’t help but marvel over the idea that I had no clue I’d be using the same tools I used then to fight my current battle of dealing with cancer.
Oddly enough the tool I held in my heart at that particular time was the tool of praise.
I remembered how I learned that it is praise that moves us from the clouds to sunshine and from doubt to faith. Instead of breaking out in a sweat over the situation I found myself in I needed to break out in praise to the Lord. “Praise? Did you say ‘praise?’ You expect me to praise God at a time like this. I don’t feel like it!”
The lesson was already learned that the object or purpose of the tool is not only to praise the Lord when we feel like it but when we don’t feel like it too. Therefore as I picked up my tool of praise I put it to work when I got further unpleasant news of about my cancer.
In the quietness of my office room in between the sobs of fear and sorrow I stopped long enough to thank God for things around my room.
Surprisingly enough I found plenty I could be thankful for and praise God for. The desk next to me reminded me of the fact that I was thankful I had a job and was still able to work. The ceiling above my head I was staring at reminded me I had a home in which to live. The pictures of goofy grandchildren and smiling faces reminded me I had a supportive family to be thankful for and my list went on.
The more I looked for things to be thankful for and praise God for the softer the sobs became and the tears started to dry. I still had cancer, the news was still bad but my focus was where it needed to be. It was on a place that would surpass any cancer medicine to keep me ready to fight, ready to go on.
Read more posts by Karen Gillett here. Karen blogs for JenningsWire.
The online feature magazine, JenningsWire.com, is created by National PR Firm, Annie Jennings PR that specializes in providing book promotion services to self-published and traditionally published authors. Annie Jennings PR books authors, speakers and experts on major high impact radio talk interview shows, on local, regionally syndicated and national TV shows and on influential online media outlets and in prestigious print magazines and newspapers across the country.