One of the hardest things to do when faced with a new reality, challenge, or speed bump is to shift the outlook from others to ourselves.
And almost inevitably, the story we’ve been living all along emerges right in our faces.
The story of our past. The story we desperately want to change.
Old stories are comfortable. Because they have always been. But they’ve also conditioned us.
The bad stories at work.
We listen to the stories that keep us small. We end up short-changing ourselves because we think things won’t get better. Eventually, we reach middle age (or at some point) knowing that things cannot go on as they have been.
We complain to our folks, friends and post rants on Facebook and Twitter. We blog and tweet our stories.
But eventually, once we’ve crossed the “muck,” there’s a meeting point where personal responsibility/action is synonymous with storytelling. Our own personal storytelling. And that’s where the power of your story comes in.
To help reroute the life’s journey.
To make an impact with your business and help others see themselves through your story, you need to first do the hard and lonely work. Once you get to the heart of the “story problem,” you can begin to take positive action and change your life.
Your story is only as good as your belief in yourself.
Let me fess up. For years I thought I was a worthless piece of crap. Why? Because I judged myself according to whether I got high grades in high school or college. Whether I got accepted into a good college.
Even when I served in the Israeli Defense Forces, I judged myself according to rank. And when I got a position as a teacher in Israel and in the U.S., I thought my destiny was to serve the voice of my mother – “be a teacher,” which would forever hold my place.
These scenarios may seem common, but over time, I had developed a way to cope with life by constantly comparing myself to others. It was a mess.
And the real story problem begins.
One day, I found myself clicking back and forth at someone’s website who I mentored and has now become a very successful speaker. I couldn’t understand how she got to be so successful and I didn’t.
I kept on looking at all her credits and successes and places she was speaking at (and I wasn’t). I also repeated this same kind of behavior with friends and family members. Why were they making more money than me? Why were they more successful than me? Why can’t I have what they have?
I started “hanging out” more and more at peoples’ Facebook personal and Fan pages and their webpages. I didn’t realize it at first, but over time, I felt empty.
I had found my problem.
I didn’t know how to believe and love myself. I didn’t think I was deserving of all the possibilities in life including abundance. I just didn’t believe I was meant to do great and wonderful things. Period.
Until I started waking up in the morning practicing mindfulness and gratitude and seeking positive relationships with others – the basis for collaboration.
Without a doubt, this behavior is a new chapter in my life. I believe that if I continue in this way, one day, I will manifest all the dreams I was meant to be doing.
Move from object referral to positive action.
You CAN change the way you perceive yourself just by catching the problem of your “story.” You are your own story doctor. I call this inner dialogue and discovery “story-self therapy” or “story self-education” and I’m sure there’s a fancier name psychologists like better.
This kind of behavior starts with object referral – projecting your success outside of yourself.
It can help when you see the pattern over again. Your heart will tell your next steps. And those next steps will be the next chapter of your story. Believe me!
Your homework.
The key to creating a new story is to start catching yourself right at the momnts when you find yourself struggling. That’s the trick! What are you saying to yourself? What can’t you have? What can’t you dream? Start seeing a pattern. quickly jot down these events.
After about a week or so, you’ll start to see a pattern emerging. Listen to your heart and wait for the action steps. Write them down.
Here’s to your voice and story!
Dorit Sasson is a contributing blogger for JenningsWire.
