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The Midlife Sage: Redefining Grandmother

My grandmothers were the quintessential matrons: they grew lush gardens, baked pies, canned peaches, crocheted doilies, and then peacefully passed away in their nineties. My life has been a bit different, and I just hope I don’t die tomorrow [...]

Four Things For New Graduates To Consider Before Accepting Their First Job

In his classic book Oh, the Places You’ll Go, the great Dr. Seuss said “Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!” This epitomizes the excitement new graduates experience as they pick [...]

Leading An Authentic Life

As a life coach, most of my clients come in wanting to live an authentic life, but somewhere along their journey they make bad choices. The result? They’re forced to live with the consequences of those actions. But if you asked them if they [...]

The Midlife Sage: Keeper Of The DNR File

The call comes at any hour: “Your mother is in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.” I grab the DNR File and go, anticipating that she will survive the latest calamity just as she has for the past 86 years. Her mind and body are frail [...]

The Sandwich Generation: When You Are Parenting Your Children And Aging Parents At The Same Time

In my recent article, I discussed some of the common myths that often hold parents back from doing what it takes to help their adult children to launch into independence. Some parents who are still caring for their children as well as their [...]

Reminding Ourselves About The World Around Us Through The Maleku Tribe Of Costa Rica

On my most recent trip to Costa Rica, I had the unique opportunity to visit the Maleku tribe, and indigenous tribe of Costa Rica dating back prior to the Spanish colonization of Central America. Since the colonization, their numbers have dwindled [...]

Retirement Planning For The Psyche

Many times throughout the years, I have observed anecdotally that people have a higher risk of mortality shortly after retirement. And there’s even some empirical evidence of this.  For example, in a study of past employees of Shell Oil, [...]

We All Have Handicaps: What I Learned From The One Armed Handyman

We all have handicaps – some are more visible than others. I walked into an office building at 6pm. The first thing I noticed was that there was a guy doing construction at the entrance. The second thing I noticed was that it was 6pm! Don’t [...]

When Smart And Social Don’t Mix In A Relationship

We’ve all heard the phrase “opposites attract.” But what happens when that happy union of opposites starts to rub you the wrong way? At my Soul Blazing Sanctuary, I often work with couples where one person is very intellectual and not [...]

The Midlife Sage: The Fun Of Falling In Love At Fifty

Falling in love. Nothing screams “pathetic loser” more than being a middle-aged divorcee alone at a festive party where beautiful couples are trading sloppy kisses and giggling like demented clowns. There’s not enough spiked punch in the [...]

Traveling With Children

Independence, freedom, and risk. I have traveled to over fifty countries in the past twenty years, a point of pride that came from choosing an alternative lifestyle– one of independence, freedom, and risk. These qualities have always been [...]

Midlife Sage Says: A Kiss Every Day Outlasts Lingerie

The National Retail Federation predicts $18.6 billion will be spent on Valentine’s Day gifts. Gifts that include jewelry, flowers, candy, and greeting cards. However, many middle-aged couples ignore the hype and prefer a nice dinner with fine [...]

The Truth About Lying

When you were growing up, you probably learned that lying was wrong. Remember the old adage, “Honesty is the best policy”? However, chances are that those same people who told you not to lie often told a few non-truths themselves. And today, [...]

My Weekend In Zanzibar

My weekend in Zanzibar. We had always wanted to go to Zanzibar because the name evoked the sound of a mysterious, sexy, exotically inviting island getaway. After being married for a year I began to feel all the pieces of my life come together [...]

The Midlife Sage Says: Here’s a Survival Guide in Five Easy Paragraphs

Life experience. Some of you have been around the block enough times to know where to avoid the mud and dog poop or when to stop and smell the roses. Others, however, refuse to try a better path so they continue to trip over the same obstacles. [...]

Are You Ready To Speak Your Truth?

“I’m calm, I’m at ease and ready to speak candidly.” Lance Armstrong Rumors are rife that Lance Armstrong is going to admit to doping in his upcoming interview with Oprah Winfrey. It seems very clear he did some doping [...]

The Midlife Sage Says: Plan Your Own Play Day

Local children get all excited when the schools are closed for a snow day. As an evolving curmudgeon, I snort with scorn because in my day we walked miles through a blizzard for the privilege of going to school so we could postpone our chores [...]

The Midlife Sage Says: How to Raise Amazing Children

My son works in law enforcement. His job often requires him to enter homes where good parenting skills aren’t a priority. It’s difficult to prepare a nutritious family meal when the kitchen has been converted into a meth lab and the toddler [...]

Twenty-Five Hours In A Day

My son and I were joking about a calendar he told me about. He said on the outside it looked like a normal 2013 calendar but on the inside when you flipped to January it was blank.  Every month was blank. In case you forgot according to the [...]

The Midlife Sage Says: Make Your Own Music In 2013

The songs of the holidays. I grew up listening to The Captain and Tennille singing about “Muskrat Love” and The Carpenters warbling “Sing of good things, not bad. Sing of happy, not sad.” I believe those two songs were solely responsible [...]

The Midlife Sage Says: Tell Your Story In A December Journal

Put down your peppermint schnapps and find a quiet place so you can write about the past year. Summarize all the fun and fabulous, the rotten and wretched, and the clever and comedic parts of 2012. Then hide your journal, go back to the party, [...]

Boo! So You Want To Become A Ghostwriter?

I sat looking out my office window one blustery, eerie, day. Drifting in thought from desperately going through the avalanche of emails in my in box,  I was clicking delete faster than a raven can fly. Suddenly my finger grinded to a halt just [...]

The Midlife Sage Says: Blended Families Can Survive The Holidays Without A Food Fight

Your family tree. It could be in danger of falling over because the branches are laden with sporadic offshoots, new in-laws, old stepparents, and assorted children who share multiple homes. But because of extra care these roots are strong and [...]

The Midlife Sage Says: You Can Balance Tough Lady With Bawl Baby

My two-month-old granddaughter cries for three main reasons. Either she’s hungry, she’s tired, or her diapers are dirty. I don’t need to be changed, but I could really use a sandwich and a nap. Maybe if I cry out loud… I was raised to [...]

The Midlife Sage Says: Share Some Time, Beer and/or Pie with Your Mother-in-law

Unless your mother-in-law is a convicted felon or a pole dancer at the Kit Kat Klub, you should try and spend quality one-on-one time with her. After all, she raised the person you married. If she lives far away, keep in contact with letters, [...]

The Midlife Sage Says: Avoid The Platitude About Gratitude

Feeling guilty because your Thanksgiving experience never resembles the Norman Rockwell painting of a happy family gathered around a lovely table as Grandma in her white apron proudly delivers a perfect turkey? Instead, does your feast often [...]

The Midlife Sage Says: If You Didn’t Vote, Don’t Complain

I’ll be SO happy when the national election is over because we can go back to debating important issues, such as which wine to have with weinersnitchel. After serious research and exploratory activities, I’ve concluded that you can be more [...]

Why Adults Should Dress Up for Halloween

Why should kids have all the fun? I used to dress up as a clown and accompany my children on their Halloween trick-or-treat trips. Instead of a bucket for candy, I carried a wine glass. Sometimes it was meager pickings in my conservative neighborhood, [...]

Five Top Tips for Young Women

There is no need to search for the Elusive Magic Guru of All Answers or schedule appointments with an expensive shrink. Take some free advice from a well-seasoned traveler of life who scrambled out on the positive side of numerous trials and [...]